The lovely and thoughtful Busy Bee Lauren wrote an interesting blog recently about being what she called old-fashioned and wanting to take care of her husband and make him dinner, etc. Here's a link to the post. I thought that her post was written very intelligently and thoughtfully. She says that she chooses to cook her husband dinner and it isn't expected of her, it's what she wants to do.
However several people in the comments said that they agreed with her and they certainly weren't feminists, they liked to care for their husbands/family. That's the problem I had. Just because someone is a feminist doesn't mean they can't choose (or don't want to choose) to cook dinner every night.
A feminist is someone who supports equal rights and opportunities for men and women. Just because someone is a feminist does not mean they are a lesbian. Being a feminist doesn't mean that you burn bras and don't shave. Being a feminist doesn't mean you support abortions (I consider myself a feminist and a pro-lifer) Being a feminist doesn't mean you can't cook dinner, clean your house, stay at home and enjoy doing all of these things. It means that you believe that a woman (just like a man) should have choices as to how she lives her life (and I'm not talking being pro-choice here...) that a man has and should have equal rights (pay, voting, property ownership, etc.) and that men and women should be treated equally/fairly. This doesn't mean that they have to be treated exactly the same, just that they have the same chanced and opportunities.
One poster said that the feminist movement has made women believe they don't need men, as if that's a bad thing. She continued to say that she'd never felt happier and more secure than when she was with her husband. That's great for her and I'm glad that she has found happiness. But the feminist movement has given women the rights they deserve and need to NEED a man for financial and social reasons.
I don't think that I need a man in my life right now, I am happy being single. Would I love to have a boyfriend/husband? Sure, but I know that I am not less of a person or a woman if I don't have a husband. I can feel fulfilled through my work, my family, my friends, my faith, without being in a relationship. While some people may not feel satisfied until they are in a relationship (which is totally fine for them), being with a man is no longer a legitimate necessity as it was in the past when women didn't work, go to college, couldn't own land, etc.
I love that Lauren says she chooses to care for her husband and make him dinner every night. She wrote that it wasn't expected of her, she does it because she likes to take care for her husband. In return, he chooses to wash the dishes, fill her car with gas, etc because he wants to. I think that is wonderful! Because it is her choice. Lots of women still can't make that choice. It is expected that they will make dinner every night, clean the house, take care of the kids. I'm not saying it is bad if women do these things, just that husbands and society should't expect them to do these things.
Even though Momma hates it, she still cooks every night because if she didn't we wouldn't eat, would eat out, or would have hot dogs every night (because that's all my dad would cook). Momma's out of town for the week. Before she left she made us two nights worth of dinners and we ate out the other night. And I know Daddy loves and respects Momma, but the expectation is that she'll cook and clean every weekend. Momma doesn't do this because she chooses to take care of her husband, she does it because someone has to.
I definitely appreciate those who want to do these things and respect the choices that they've made, but they should be thankful and grateful that they had the choice and help make sure that everyone is able to make those choices.